Running Low I Tell You We Aint Funny
FlourishAnyway believes there is a playlist for just about any situation and is on a mission to unite and entertain the world through song.
Country music has never been reluctant to have a little fun with even the most serious of situations. Find the humor in life with a playlist of funny country songs.
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash; Canva
Need a Good Chuckle?
One thing I love about country music is that it's always been able to poke fun not only at itself but also at serious life situations. Country music finds humor in the everyday experiences many of us face, often adding a down-home or redneck spin to . . .
- unfortunate-looking offspring,
- dating, breakups, and unhappy marriages,
- religious overenthusiasm,
- sexuality,
- and becoming comfortable with technology.
Perhaps you can identify, or maybe you just need a good laugh. If so, then make yourself a playlist of funny country songs. We have a long list to start you out.
1. "Ticks" by Brad Paisley
Well, this is one helluva pickup line. A country fella takes a liking to a fine-looking woman in a local bar. He'd sure like to see the other half of her butterfly tramp stamp, so he makes his move:
. . . I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.
It's a safety thing. You never know where those ticks might decide to burrow.
2. "Trashy Women" by Confederate Railroad
When it comes to women, some men like 'em classy while other men like 'em trashy. The guy in this memorable 1993 country song belongs to the latter set.
He seeks a gal who looks more like a cocktail waitress than a debutante: too much makeup, clothes too tight, and as tacky as he is:
I like 'em sweet, I like 'em with a heart of gold
Yeah, and I like 'em brassy, I like 'em brazen and bold
Well, they say that opposites attract; well I don't agree
I want a woman just as tacky as me
Yeah, I like my women just a little on the trashy side.
3. "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly" by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty
This 1978 song is a hoot. Two old lovebirds are stuck with each other and throw major shade on their partner for the miseries of life: lack of money, losing their good looks, and then there's the ugly children they must share. At least they have each other.
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't everythin' and money ain't everythin'
But I love you just the same.
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4. "No Trash in My Trailer" by Colt Ford (Featuring George Jones)
The guy in this 2008 ditty wants you to know that there's a country mile of difference between redneck and just plain ole trash, and he don't allow no trash in his double wide mobile home. Yessirree, he may have a motor hangin' from a tree. He may spend his time mud boggin'. But he's ain't ashamed of who he is.
'Cause there ain't no trash in my trailer.
Though you might find an empty can of beer
No there ain't been no trash in my trailer, oh no
Since the day I threw you outta here,
Whether you admit it or not, everybody has at least one of these country cousins hiding somewhere in their family. Don't you go denying it.
Joe Sepielli via Flickr, CC-BY-SA 2.0
Best Redneck Jokes on the Internet
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What's a redneck's last words? | Hold my beer and ya'll watch this! |
| How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? | Two. One to eat it, another to look out for traffic! |
| What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line? | A full set of teeth |
| Why did the redneck father walk his child to school? | They were in the same grade. |
5. "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home" by David Frizzell
If you've never heard this song, you need to stop and listen to it now. In this 1982 country tune, a man's long-suffering wife is tired of having him come home drunk, so she's come up with a desperate solution. She'll hire a hardcore alcoholic as their interior decorator so there's no reason for her husband to stay out late carousing.
She said: "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam.
We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.
6. "I Pray for You" by Jaron and The Long Road to Love
If you like dark humor, then you'll find this 2010 country ditty a doozy. After the protagonist—that's the main character fella—gets his heart shredded, he goes to church.
However, when the preacher man encourages him to pray for those who have done him wrong, he doesn't find Jesus and warm, fuzzy forgiveness in the well-intentioned advice. Instead, he has his own interpretation of the Bible man's message:
I pray your brakes go out running down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
7. "She Only B*tches When She Breathes" by Freddie B
Don't feel sorry for the bitter dude in this humorous 2011 country song. He laments that after he and his wife tied the knot, she did a 180-degree change. She spends all of his money, isn't as doting as she once was, and now he doesn't get enough bedroom time. (If he's honest with himself, he'd probably confess that he's changed a little, too.)
Looks like these two won't make it through the honeymoon years:
Yea this circle of trust is like a band of thieves
She stole my heart and then my self esteem
I'll have to sum it up this way:
She could turn a straight man gay
She only b*tches when she breathes.
8. "She Only Loves Me for My Willie" by Paul Overstreet
When you saw the title, I bet your mind totally went to the gutter on this one, but this 2014 song is not about that willie. It humorously refers to Willie Nelson.
A woman falls in love with a singer who does his best to imitate the classics of Willie Nelson and other country legends. She first became smitten with him for the way he sang Willie Nelson's "Whiskey River" in a honky tonk outside of Austin. Since then, he has suspected that his spot-on musical impression of the red headed stranger is the real reason she sticks with him:
But I think she only loves me for my Willie
Something about my Willie turns her on
It's not all that extraordinary really
But it's better than my Haggard and my Jones.
9. "When You're Screwin' Other Women (Think of Me)" by Doyle and Debbie
When your marriage has gone this far south, you're either divorced or you will be soon. The wife in this 2011 country song is well aware that her man is cheating. He picks up women in bars and doesn't even waste the cost of a hotel. She asks him one trashy, bittersweet favor, however: at least while he's messing around, can he at least pretend that they're her?
10. "Queen of My Double Wide Trailer" by Sammy Kershaw
This 1993 song is all about possessive and forgiving love, redneck style. A backwoods country boy meets the farm girl of his dreams down at the local restaurant and falls head over boots for her over as they eat their chicken fried steaks. What he doesn't know is that she's the cheating kind.
So I made her the queen of my double wide trailer
With the polyester curtains and the redwood deck
Now she's run off and I've gotta trail her
Dang her black heart and her pretty red neck.
If you enjoy songs about rednecks, why not make yourself a playlist of Redneck Anthems?
11. "With My Shirt On" by John Michael Montgomery
Usually it's the ladies who feel self-conscious about their bodies. But in this 2008 country song, an aging husband realizes he's developed a "dad bod" and makes a special request of his wife:
Yeah, you know forty sure has come fast
And my metabolism is gettin' slow
So tonight, can I make love with my shirt on?
What do you bring to your relationship? Other than love and affection, you probably help take care of some practical chores. Your partner would miss that if you broke up.
Lars Plougmann via Flickr, CC-BY-SA 2.0
12. "Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?" by Buck Owens
No joke. This 1969 song was a number one country hit. Trying to avert a break up, a husband asks his wife both practical and whimsical questions about how she'll get by with him no longer around. Perhaps she can learn to mow her own grass.
13. "Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On" by Neal McCoy
Poor Billy got dumped by his girlfriend, so in this country tune from 2005, he does what any self-respecting guy does and heads to the local beer joint. There, he tries to forget his troubles by getting liquored up real good:
He's on the dance floor yelling 'Freebird'
Singing off pitch but he knows every word
Grabs him another girl, he hold on tight
He don't see ugly
Through blood shot eyes.
14. "John Deere Green" by Joe Diffie
There's nothing like redneck love. It's his and hers belt buckles with each others' names on them. Or declaring your love in bright paint graffiti atop the local water tower or bridge.
That's just what Billy Bob did in this 1993 song when he spray painted "Billy Boy loves Charlene" in John Deere green in letters three feet high. Even after they were married for decades, the couple could still look out in the distance and see the bright message that no paint could properly cover up. Now that is a legacy of everlasting love.
They say that after awhile dogs and their owners begin to look alike. These country dogs would agree.
jredneck2005 via Flickr, CC-BY-SA 2.0
15. "Like My Dog" by Billy Currington
There's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a dog. They're always glad to see you, they don't argue or complain, and they take no offense if you call their sister a b*tch. In this 2011 country song, a husband laments that he wishes his wife would give him the same stellar treatment as his dog:
He never tells me that he's sick of this house
He never says why don't you get off that couch?
He don't cost me nothin' when he wants to go out
I want you to love me like my dog.
16. "You Can't Pray the Gay Away" by Laura Bell Bundy
A hilarious jab at LGBTQ haters, this 2017 country ditty takes a swipe at those who believe in reprogramming and fighting what's in our DNA. A church lady narrator reminds us that, although prayer is certainly powerful . . .
There are some matters
Where we would be better servants of the Lord
By accepting what IS and not bothering Him.
She declares that no matter how devout you are, you can't change who you are by praying the gay away. And besides, you probably know someone who is gay, given its prevalence. Let that sink in.
17. "Online" by Brad Paisley
Every been catfished? The short, overweight, socially awkward pizza delivery guy in this 2007 song still lives with his parents, and he isn't exactly a hunk. However, the Internet has allowed him to assume an alter ego and chat with young women (or people pretending to be them).
He enjoys the irony and deception of luring the unsuspecting into online relationships he could never have in person:
I'm a sci-fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me
That you need to see.
When it comes to social media and meeting people online, keep this guy in mind!
18. "Dancing With a Man" by Rodney Carrington
Two Texas cowboys hit the local watering hole and find themselves dancing with a dude dressed as a lady in this 2007 country ditty. Their dancing partner's real gender doesn't register at first, but then signs become apparent:
I think I'm dancing with a man
She's got callouses on her hands
She's got a voice deeper than mine
She gets a stiffy when we grind
I think I'm dancing with a man.
19. "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?" by Dan Hicks
Some people are hard to get rid of, like glitter or garlic breath, toenail fungus or bedbugs. The man in this country tune from 2007 desperately wants to lose his unwanted admirer. Problem is, she won't go away. He's talked to her parents, but yet she persists.
20. "Mississippi Squirrel Revival" by Ray Stevens
Although Ray Stevens is primarily a novelty singer—meaning that his songs are intended to be funny—this one climbed the country charts in 1984. It's about a preteen boy who sneaks a squirrel into the Sunday services at the First Self-Righteous Church in Pascagoula, Mississippi. The half-crazed squirrel escapes into the pews during the church service, climbs into people's clothes, and instigates an old-fashioned church revival where all kinds of confessions are made.
Turn to country music when you need a good laugh. It's filled with funny stories and clever double meanings.
Premasagar Rose via Flickr, CC-BY-SA 2.0
Even More Funny Country Songs
| Song | Artist | Year Released |
|---|---|---|
| 21. Things Not to Say to Your Wife | Tim Hawkins | 2009 |
| 22. I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore | The Snake Oil Willie Band | 2014 |
| 23. Girls Lie Too | Terri Clark | 2004 |
| 24. Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart | Johnny Cash | 1968 |
| 25. I'm Gonna Miss Her | Brad Paisley | 2001 |
| 26. Do You Want Fries with That | Tim McGraw | 2005 |
| 27. Did I Shave My Legs for This? | Deana Carter | 1995 |
| 28. You Ain't Much Fun (Since I Quit Drinkin') | Toby Keith | 1995 |
| 29. She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy | Kenny Chesney | 1999 |
| 30. Red Solo Cup | Toby Keith | 2011 |
| 31. Would Jesus Wear a Rolex? | Ray Stevens | 1987 |
| 32. I Don't Even Know Your Name | Alan Jackson | 1994 |
| 33. Kick My Ass | Big & Rich | 2004 |
| 34. Bubba Shot the Jukebox | Mark Chesnutt | 1992 |
| 35. Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through the Goal Posts of Life) | Bobby Bare | 1976 |
| 36. Celebrity | Brad Paisley | 2003 |
| 37. If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good at It | Neal McCoy | 1997 |
| 38. Ten with a Two | Willie Nelson | 1990 |
| 39. You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too | The Statler Brothers | 1968 |
| 40. My Feet Stink, My Head Hurts, and I Don't Love Jesus | Jimmy Buffet | 1976 |
| 41. First Redneck on the Internet | Cletus Judd | 1998 |
| 42. One Piece at a Time | Johnny Cash | 1976 |
| 43. I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight | Charlie Walker | 1968 |
| 44. Don't Squeeze My Sharmon | Charlie Walker | 1967 |
| 45. Cleopatra, Queen of Denial | Pam Tillis | 1992 |
| 46. If You Don't Leave Me Alone (I'm Gonna Find Somebody That Will | Delbert McClinton | 1972 |
| 47. Thank God and Greyhound You're Gone | Roy Clark | 1970 |
| 48. It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long | The Notorious Cherry Bombs | 2004 |
| 49. Guys Do It All the Time | Mindy McCready | 1996 |
| 50. Girl in a Country Song | Maddie and Tae | 2015 |
| 51. Brand New Girlfriend | Steve Holy | 2006 |
| 52. Burning Sensation | Rodney Carrington | 2004 |
| 53. It's All Going to Pot | Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard | 2015 |
| 54. Weed with Willie | Toby Keith | 2003 |
| 55. She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft) | Jerry Reed | 1980 |
| 56. A Boy Named Sue | Johnny Cash | 1969 |
| 57. Friends in Low Places | Garth Brooks | 1990 |
| 58. One More Last Chance | Vince Gill | 1992 |
| 59. One More Repossession and I'll Be Out of Debt | Perfect Stranger | 1995 |
| 60. Why Haven't I Heard From You | Reba McEntire | 1994 |
| 61. That's My Story (and I'm Stickin' to It) | Collin Raye | 1993 |
| 62. 800 Pound Jesus | Sawyer Brown | 1999 |
| 63. As Good as I Once Was | Toby Keith | 2005 |
| 64. Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) | Big & Rich | 2004 |
| 65. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off | Joe Nichols | 2005 |
| 66. Size Matters | Joe Nichols | 2005 |
| 67. He Drinks Tequila and She Talks Dirty in Spanish | Lorrie Morgan & Sammy Kershaw | 2001 |
| 68. When Uncle Bill Quit Dope | Johnny Cash | 1977 |
| 69. Ain't Goin' Back to Brokeback Mountain | Willie Nelson | 2009 |
| 70. (Gettin' Married to My) Pickup Truck | Rodney Carrington | 2000 |
| 71. I've Never Gone to Bed With An Ugly Woman (But I Sure Woke Up With a Few) | Bobby Bare | 1976 |
| 72. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger | Chuck Mead | 2009 |
| 73. If I'm the Only One | Rodney Carrington | 2009 |
| 74. The King Is Gone (And So Are You) | George Jones | 1989 |
| 75. If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me | The Bellamy Brothers | 1979 |
| 76. Put the "O" Back in Country | Shooter Jennings | 2005 |
| 77. Wolf Creek Pass | C.W. McCall | 1975 |
| 78. At the Time | Lynn Anderson | 1970 |
| 79. Dolly Parton's Hits | Bobby Braddock | 1983 |
| 80. Nobody Knows I'm Elvis | Waylon Jennings | 1994 |
| 81. Stronger Beer | Tim Hicks | 2013 |
| 82. Tell Ole I Ain't Here, He Better Get on Home | Moe Bandy and Joe Stampley | 1980 |
| 83. I Still Like Bologna | Alan Jackson | 2008 |
| 84. Who's Your Daddy? | Toby Keith | 2002 |
| 85. I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up) | Waylon Jennings | 1984 |
| 86. Selfie #theinternetisforever | Brad Paisley | 2017 |
| 87. I'll Take the Dog | Jean Shepard and Ray Pillow | 1966 |
| 88. The Bird | Jerry Reed | 1988 |
| 89. Wildwood Weed | Jim Stafford | 1974 |
| 90. Mama She's Lazy | Pinkard & Bowden | 1984 |
| 91. I'll Think of a Reason Later | Lee Ann Womack | 1998 |
| 92. Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead | Kacey Jones | 2000 |
| 93. 15 Minutes | Rodney Atkins | 2009 |
| 94. In Spite of Ourselves | John Prine and Iris Dement | 1999 |
| 95. Vidalia | Sammy Kershaw | 1996 |
| 96.She Left Me for Jesus | Hayes Carll | 2008 |
| 97. Kick My A** | Big & Rich | 2004 |
| 98. Attitude Adjustment | Hank Williams Jr. | 1985 |
| 99. Lifestyles of the Not So Rich and Famous | Tracy Byrd | 1994 |
| 100. Marry for Money | Trace Adkins | 2012 |
| 101. Only Prettier | Miranda Lambert | 2009 |
| 102. It's Hard to Be Humble | Mac Davis1 | 1980 |
| 103. Numbers | Bobby Bare | 1980 |
| 104. Hillbilly Bone | Blake Shelton (featuring Trace Adkins) | 2009 |
| 105. Some Beach | Blake Shelton | 2004 |
| 106. Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back | Billy Edd Wheeler | 1965 |
| 107. Smokin' Hot Wife | Sawyer Brown | 2011 |
| 108. Catch a Fish | Outlaw | 2021 |
| 109. Cletus Take the Reel | Tim Hawkins | 2008 |
| 110. Fish | Craig Campbell | 20111 |
Questions & Answers
Question: I'm looking for a song with the lyrics, "I like big dumb dogs, fireplaces with crackling logs." Any help?
Answer: The closest thing I could find to it was a 1966 song by Jean Shepard and Ray Pillow called, "I'll Take the Dog." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSzSPutEkfE
Question: What is the name of the song in the early 70s about being rescued while not wanting to?
Answer: All I could locate was "Dependin' on You" by The Doobie Brothers (1978), but that's from the late 70s. You can leave a follow-up comment in the Comments Section of the playlist article.
Question: Do you remember a funny country song about a man saying all the things he can do, but only with his wife's permission (or some words with that general meaning)?
Answer: Even if this isn't the song you're after, I'm sure you'll enjoy it: "The Man Song" by Sean Morey (1995). Lyrics and YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Y0I91rubg&t=
I don't take no crap from anyone else but you,
I wear the pants around here when I'm finished with your laundry,
'Cause I'm a guy you don't wanna fight,
When I say jump you say, "Yeah Right!"
I'm the man of this house until you get home
(He's the man, He's the man)
What I say goes around here ... right out the window,
And I don't want to hear a lot of whining ... so I'll shut up,
The sooner you learn who's boss around here
The sooner you can give me my orders, Dear
'Cause I'm head honcho around here, but its all in my head!
(He's the man, he's the man)
And I can have sex any time that you want,
Cause I'm a man who has needs, but they're not that important,
And don't expect any flowers from me 'cause if I'm not mistaken you prefer jewelry.
I'm the king of my castle when you're not around
(He's the man, He's the man)
And I'll drink and watch sports whenever I want to get in trouble
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready ... to sleep on the couch
Cause a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
and I'm gonna do what you tell me to
Because I'm top dog around here but I've been neutered!
(He's the man, He's the man)
You da man!
Question: I am looking for an old country song that sounds like Goofy with a shaking voice. Any idea?
Answer: Although that's not striking a familiar chord with me, take a look at Ray Stevens' discography, as he specializes in novelty songs.
Question: Do you know a song that is about stupid questions? It includes the example of looking at a person's lathered up face and asking if he's going to shave and falling down an elevator shaft and then asking are you hurt? The chorus includes "ask a stupid question." My brother used to play it doing and an old geezer voice and I wondered where it was from. Thank you!
Answer: It took me a while to find it, but here it is: "Foolish Questions" (1979) by Johnny Cash. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkBul7B3eK4
Here are the lyrics:
Now you've all heard foolish questions and no doubt you've wondered why
Some person will ask a foolish question and expect a sensible reply
Like when you take your girl some candy, say maybe just after tea
You notice how she'll grab it and then she'll say, "Is this for me?"
Foolish questions! You can answer when you can
"No, I bought this candy for your ma or pa, or for John, the hired hand
"I just thought you'd like to see it. Now I'm gonna take it away"
Now wasn't that a foolish question? You'll hear 'em ev'ry day
And then most every morning, there is someone 'round the place
Who sees you take the shaving brush and lather up your face
And as you give the razor a preliminary wave
This fool will walk up and ask you, "Are you gonna take a shave?"
Foolish questions! Your answer is, I hope
"No! I ain't prepared for shavin', I just like the taste of soap!
I kinda like to take the shaving brush and paint myself this way"
Now wasn't that a foolish question? You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!
Now then there's this fella who meets you on your way
And asks you why your all dressed up and listens while you say
That you just been returning from the funeral of poor old Uncle Ned
As soon as you have told him, he will say, "Is Ned dead?"
Foolish questions! You might as well reply
"No, he thought he'd have the funeral now. Then, later on, he'd die
You know Ned was always so original, he wanted it that way"
Now wasn't that a foolish question? You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!
Now suppose the elevator guy should forget to close the door
And you should tumble down, oh say forty-seven floors
And when you reach the bottom and you're lying there inert
Some fool will stick his head down the shaft and holler, "Are you hurt?"
Foolish questions! Your dying words are
"No! I was in an awful hurry and that elevator's just too slow
Usually saves a lot of time, you know, comin' down this way"
Now wasn't that a foolish question? You'll hear 'em ev'ry day!
Question: I'm trying to find a country song I used in a political science class in 2008 as a comparison between America and Canada. It was funny, and I am pretty sure the lyrics included the "F" word in it. It was a country song. Could you help?
Answer: The song by Tim Hicks, "Stronger Beer" (2013) and "Oh ... Canada" by Classified are the only two I could come up with based on that information. However, the date is an issue in the first example (and the lyrics don't feature the expletive you recall) and in the second example, it's a rap song rather than a country song. Nevertheless, here are the YouTube links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E064kb3UnU and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gd1FDZ_kRM.
If these aren't it, try to come up with some lyrics you remember. That would help me look for it.
Question: What Delbert McClinton song has funny lyrics about a chicken?
Answer: Yes, it's a rather new release (2019) called "No Chicken on the Bone." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WxpkCW8Yiw
Listen up everybody 'cause I've got something to say
I might have fallen in love with a girl I just met today
I don't quite know how to feel
I can't believe she's real
Got me mumbling and stumbling around in a fuzzy haze
She makes pizza at the joint on the corner of Fifth and Main
I'm going back down there, I'm gonna ask her what's her name
Gonna tell her just how I feel
I can only hope that she'll
Maybe smile at me and say she feels the same
My heart started pounding like a runaway train
Knees started knocking when she called my name
Ain't nothing never, never, ever gonna be the same
She's the one that brightens up my day
The sun shines on her even when it rains
I'd say it's plain to see
What's happening to me
I'm a different man than I was yesterday
She's the kind woman take away your breath
She's the kind of woman scare you half to death
She's the kind of woman don't leave no chicken on the bone
She's the kind of woman take you way up high
She's the kind of woman set your world on fire
A woman like that, I just can't leave alone
She's the kind woman take away your breath
She's the kind of woman scare you half to death
She's the kind of woman don't leave no chicken on the bone.
Question: Who sings the song, "Five Dollar Fine for Whining?" And where can I buy a copy?
Answer: The song "Five Dollar Fine for Whining" has been sung by the late Chris LeDoux (on his 1996 Stampede album) or The Geezinslaws (on their 1996 Blah Blah Blah album). Here are the lyrics and YouTube featuring LeDoux and a guest appearance at the end by Garth Brooks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hgDQqjKErA
We're a fun lovin' crowd, kinda rowdy and loud
Our jukebox won't play no sad songs
So don't come in here, and cry in your beer
'Cause we don't care 'bout who done who wrong
We've got a five dollar fine for whining
We'll tell you before you come in
If it ain't on your mind to have a good time
Ya'll come back and see us again
Well we don't really care about your clothes or your hair
This party is open to all
Yeah we like a good joke, and it's alright to smoke
We got just one rule on the wall
(Repeat chorus)
Now there's too many fools makin' too many rules
That's one thing you can't say about us
Cause we all get along when we sing the same song
There's just one thing that causes a fuss.
If you cannot find the single for this song on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon Music, or other major streaming services then I have seen multiple copies of Chris Ledoux's album Stampede with that song available for sale on eBay.
Question: Do you know a country song with nursery rhymes in it?
Answer: George Jones had a 1966 song called "Run 'Em Off" that features Little Red Riding Hood, and Hank Thompson had a 1968 song called "I Have a Humpty Dumpty Heart."
© 2018 FlourishAnyway
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 28, 2020:
Ted Parks - Great creative song that I added to the Halloween playlist. Terrific to hear from the artist himself!
Ted Parks on August 27, 2020:
Great list! Coolest thing about country music is that it can make fun of itself!
Have you heard this one (great for Halloween!)
YouTube: https://youtu.be/0grnWjk3Xt8
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1ZMUvssMbUnogN8RAMF...
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 02, 2020:
Nathaniel - I love that song! I'll add it. Thanks for the suggestion and have a great Sunday.
Nathaniel Donnelly on August 02, 2020:
There is one song i saw missing, it is a song by lee ann womack called "I'll Think of a Reason Later" cause there is a particular lyric in the song and it goes like
"I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with a marker. Childish yes but she made such a thin little target. I couldn't be happier on my own. I got the slightest of a jealous bone. Seeing her with him tends to enlarge it."
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 01, 2020:
Greg - Ray Stevens has a 2006 novelty song called "When the Kids Are Gone." I think this is the song you're looking for.
Greg on July 31, 2020:
Im looking for a song with lyrics that go. When the kids move out we're gonna make love in the kitchen
When the kids move out we're gonna smoke them funny smokes
When all these kids are gone we're gonna party all the time
gonna run around naked telling dirty jokes
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 24, 2020:
Bob - Yep, that's the one! Big hit.
Robert Sacchi on July 23, 2020:
It could be I misremembered and the original is the Judd's "Mamma He's Crazy" is the original. Part of the lyrics is "...crazy. Crazy over me"
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 23, 2020:
MG - Some of these are really quite funny.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 23, 2020:
Bob - The original that Mama She's Lazy" is doing a parody of is "Mama He's Crazy" by The Judds which is why Wayland put "she" in all caps. I could not find a song called "Mama She's Crazy" but I could find the parody, "Mama She's Lazy." I'm thinking Wayland may have misremembered it, a common occurrence or else it's just really hard to find. Not sure.
Robert Sacchi on July 23, 2020:
"Mama She's Lazy" is a parody of "Mama She's Crazy". "Mama She's Crazy" is about a man telling his mother his wonderful wife is crazy over him. In "Mama She's Lazy" the man is complaining to his mother about his lazy spouse.
MG Singh emge from Singapore on July 23, 2020:
Wonderful that you update this article. Though I am not too fond of country music after seeing your selection I think I'll have a go at it.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 23, 2020:
Wayland - There's a song called, "Mama She's Lazy" (1984) by Pinkard & Bowden. I'm wondering if perhaps you're thinking of that song?
Wayland on July 23, 2020:
Do you have the lyrics to mama SHES crazy?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 10, 2020:
Bob - Thanks for that addition!
Robert Sacchi on July 08, 2020:
Have you considered - "Wildwood Weed" by Jim Stafford?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 08, 2020:
MG - Thanks for your kind kudos. Have a wonderful day.
MG Singh emge from Singapore on July 07, 2020:
Another great selection. I love country songs and they are part of my collection.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 07, 2020:
Bob - I will do a playlist about Tennessee and add that one to it (since that's where the narrator resides). Tennessee is a great place to live and so is Texas (although that one is really hot).
Robert Sacchi on July 07, 2020:
You're welcome. Have you considered "All my Ex's live in Texas"- George Strait?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 06, 2020:
Bob - Thanks for this recommendation. I've also added it to a current playlist on birds that I'm writing so great timing!
Robert Sacchi on July 04, 2020:
Have your considered "Bird" by Jerry Reed?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 03, 2020:
Tamie - That's not ringing a bell if it's not "I'll Take the Dog."
Tamie on July 01, 2020:
I thought it may be a Mac Davis song.
Lyrics about loving a big dumb dog and fireplaces with crackling logs. Maybe from the 1970's early 80's?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 06, 2020:
Peggy - Glad I could help! We could all use a laugh these days.
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 05, 2020:
Some of these titles and lyrics are really funny. Thanks for the smiles today.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 06, 2020:
Carol - Moments by Emerson Drive but I don't see how that fits with the theme of funny country songs?
Carol on March 04, 2020:
Song by a group about a young man thinking of suiside on a bridge and stopped by an old man talking him out of it
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 06, 2020:
Tip - Unfortunately, I didn't find a country song with all of those lyrics. Maybe someone else will recognize it and leave a comment.
Tlp on February 05, 2020:
Looking for an old bar song from mud 90's "my jeans are too tigh, can't feel my feet'
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 08, 2019:
Anonymous - Although I don't know the song, I'm hopeful that perhaps one of my readers can help and will leave a comment.
Anonymous on September 08, 2019:
I'm looking for the lyrics of a song that starts out, "From the cornfields to Nashville via New York." Any help?
Robert Sacchi on September 07, 2019:
Isn't the internet wonderful.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 07, 2019:
Bob - You've actually led me to the answer. Thanks. I could not have figured this one out without YOU.
Anonymous - The country song you're looking for is "Who Dat (Messin' with that Woman of Mine), a song by David Frizzell from 1984.
Robert Sacchi on September 06, 2019:
An earlier Pop version is "who's that knocking" by The Genies.
Robert Sacchi on September 06, 2019:
Could that be the rapper song, "Who Dat" by Lil'' Murph?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 06, 2019:
Anonymous - You've got me stumped. Perhaps a reader can help out. If so, I hope they'll leave a comment.
Anonymous on September 06, 2019:
Do you remember a twangy country song that says "Who day knockin' on my door? Who day?" over and over again?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on August 21, 2019:
Anonymous - Although I'm unsure of this song, I hope a reader will speak up if he or she knows of the song. They can leave a comment.
Anonymous on August 21, 2019:
I used to have a single cassette back in the 90s it was a country rap song about cant dance or my two left feet. Do you know who sings the song?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on July 14, 2019:
Anonymous - Thanks for the suggestions. I've added Waylon's song at #80. Have a great weekend.
Anonymous on July 14, 2019:
Nobody knows I'm Elvis
Waylon Jennings
Coin machines
Jerry Reed
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 29, 2019:
Tom Cornett - Thanks for stopping by. Bobby Braddock is a real songwriting talent. Loved the Dolly Parton song. Yikes.
Tom Cornett from Ohio on June 28, 2019:
Great Hub! I've heard and enjoyed most of these songs over the years. Digging back in the 80s folks can find an album called, "Hard Pore Cornography" by Bobby Braddock. Songs included, "Dolly Parton's Hits" and "I Lobster and Never Flounder. Bobby is a dear old friend. He's written and co-written many hits including, "DIVORCE" and "He Stopped Loving Her Today." He is one of the great treasures of Country Music. Again....Great Hub.
Robert Sacchi on June 14, 2019:
You're welcome.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 14, 2019:
Bob - Thanks for the suggestion.
Robert Sacchi on June 13, 2019:
What about "Hotter Than a Two Dollar Pistol" by George Jones? A good example of not understanding the concept.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 13, 2019:
Anonymous - It would help to have some sample lyrics in particular as well as other clues. For example, do you, know the decade, whether it was a band or male/female individual artist, do you recall what the song was generally about, etc.? That would certainly help. Perhaps a reader recalls the video based on the limited detail you provided here. Sorry.
Anonymous on June 13, 2019:
Do know a country video with girl in mustang at gas station?
Robert Sacchi on May 16, 2019:
Excellent.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 16, 2019:
Bob - I have a number of playlists in queue so I'm never out of ideas. I appreciate the idea!
Robert Sacchi on May 16, 2019:
Yes, there are some good songs about gambling.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 16, 2019:
Bob - I should probably add a playlist about gambling. This would certainly be good for that list! Thank you for the idea!
Robert Sacchi on May 14, 2019:
Consider "When You're Hot, You're Hot" by Jerry Reed.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 14, 2019:
Joseph, That's wonderful! Now that you mention the song, "Talking to the Wrong Man," by Michael Martin Murphey (1988), of course, I remember it! Glad you found it!
Joseph Inman on May 14, 2019:
You might not believe this but as I was reading your response, I remembered the next line of the song. And after two years, I've found it. 'Talkin' to the wrong man' with Michael Martin Murphy and his son Ryan Murphy. Thank you. If I wouldn't have written I wouldn't have thought more of the song.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on May 13, 2019:
Joseph, Unfortunately, I've attempted -- with no success -- to look the song up under various versions of the hints you listed using several lyrics databases I'm hoping that another reader might see your comment and recognize the song.
Joseph Inman on May 12, 2019:
He is one that is driving me crazy. It's two guys singing, country, and I guess it sounds like it's from the 90s...? I heard it on satellite radio. One says 'daddy I have a question' and he asked how his father and mother get along so great. This father says it's not so great and he sings back, 'son I have a question' and proceeds to ask his son how he does his hair because the thinks it's what his wife would like. The son says that he and his girlfriend aren't getting along so well. I have not heard the song in two years or so so I'm sorry if I got some of the parts wrong. Anyways, I'm typing this on my phone so if spelling or punctuation is off, I'm sorry.
I would have added it to the question above but I typed too much. Any help would be appreciated.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 27, 2019:
Bob - I love that funny song! Got it at #5. A real hoot.
Robert Sacchi on April 27, 2019:
"Wolf Creek Pass" is a fun one. Consider "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home" by Donald Brandt. A man tells about how his wife wants to make her home like a bar. This way he can spend his money at home instead of the local bar.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 27, 2019:
Dougie - I found a Lynn Anderson song that has to be what you are looking for: "At the Time" by Lynn Anderson (1970). I also listened to "Wolf Creek Pass" for the first time. omg
Dougie on April 25, 2019:
I could add "Wolf Creek Pass" and a few others from long ago.
Can someone help me find a name for the following which I think is from the early '70s, and maybe add it to this list? Google has let me down.
"Well I told her that I loved her, cuz I loved her at the time,
And I told her that I didn't want any other lips on mine,
And I told her that her kisses tasted sweeter than wine,
But I hadn't tasted champagne at the time!"
Robert Sacchi on April 10, 2019:
I remember seeing the words written out as a joke but I never heard it put to music.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 10, 2019:
Anonymous - This doesn't ring a bell with me, but I hope it does with a reader. If so, I hope they'll leave a comment.
Anonymous on April 07, 2019:
I'm trying to identify a spoken word country song from the 70s. In it a man enumerates all the reasons his wife used to avoid sex with him. In the end, he says that 7 times he was successful. The last line is, "And once, I thought I hurt you, because you moved". Can you name the song?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 16, 2019:
Conner DeJes - Thanks for the suggestion. I've always liked that song. I added it as #75.
Conner DeJes on January 16, 2019:
Bellamy Brothers' "if i said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me"
Robert Sacchi on October 03, 2018:
You're welcome. Your list is growing.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 02, 2018:
Bob - Thanks for the suggestion. It's #63. I appreciate you!
Robert Sacchi on October 02, 2018:
What about "I ain't as good as I once was" by Toby Keith?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 02, 2018:
countryisgreat - Thanks for your suggestion. The song is actually on there at #56. I appreciate you. Have a great week.
countryisgreat on October 02, 2018:
"A Boy Named Sue"
by Johnny Cash
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on September 26, 2018:
bakela5 - Thank you for your song suggestions.
bakela5 on September 25, 2018:
A great "Country Comic" song I did at last night's gig "Letters of Love" by "Friends Of Joy" this was recorded on the Alaska label in 1977 and was the B side of that label's only chart hit "Naughty, naughty, naughty by Joy Sarney.
John Kennedy on June 01, 2018:
I am the founder and owner of the Electric Possum Cowboy Band - circa 95' - I wrote a song , that made regional radio called
"How'm I Gonna Miss You" (If You Won't Leave) still own the CR and publishing -the band wound up opening for George Jones, Charlie Daniels, and many others- be glad to share if wanted
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 23, 2018:
Clark Ford - Thanks for the song suggestion. I've placed it on the following playlist about working, jobs, and employment: https://spinditty.com/playlists/Pop-Rock-and-Count...
Clark Ford on March 23, 2018:
Here's another fun country song! "I Don't Want to Work Today" by Clark Ford
Robert Sacchi on March 16, 2018:
You're welcome.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 16, 2018:
Jess - Thank you! I've wanted to do this one for awhile and have been collecting songs for it. Thanks for commenting!
Jenn Stevens from Canada on March 15, 2018:
I love this! Brad Paisley is a favorite for me so I love that Ticks is number one! There is definitely a lot of humour in country music. Great post idea!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 15, 2018:
Bob - I thought I had darn near heard everything but then this. Thanks for the song suggestion.
Robert Sacchi on March 14, 2018:
A good mixture of old and new. It was great fun reading this article. Any reason "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road" didn't make the list?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 07, 2018:
Margie - Thanks for stopping by for a listen. The dogs may be country kinfolk, not sure. They have a suspicious resemblance to one another. Have a wonderful week!
Margie's Southern Kitchen from the USA on March 06, 2018:
I love this hub, we all need a laugh! The title is enough to get your going. I love the pic on "Love My Dog' I heard one the other day about a pig on the radio! I could not believe it!
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 03, 2018:
Peg - I'm glad you enjoyed this. I had a lot of fun with putting it together. Hope your weekend is a great one!
Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on March 03, 2018:
This playlist is great for a real laugh. "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away? Like My Dog. Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?" All these crack me up. Great collection of side busters here.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 25, 2018:
Bill - Thanks for stopping by. Country music is an entertaining genre, and I like that it doesn't take itself so seriously. Have a wonderful week.
Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on February 25, 2018:
Hi Flourish. Another great list, don't know how you do it? Some of these lyrics are hilarious. Many of these songs I'm not familiar with but perhaps I need to listen to more country music?
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 20, 2018:
Larry - Thanks for stopping by. An Oklahoma boy who does not enjoy country music? You must feel like a fish outta water.
Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on February 20, 2018:
Not necessarily my first choice, but I enjoy country music.
Much of it, if not overtly silly, has a light quality, and some of is so dark it has a certain humor.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 18, 2018:
Frances - I agree that it matches some folks' lives. They either have terrible luck, not a lot of life skills or resources, or a combination. But at least they can laugh about their situations.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 18, 2018:
Dunbar Green - I had never heard of that one, but Johnny Cash is good for so many creative, humorous songs. I listened to it and added it. Thanks for the song suggestion! Have a great week!
Frances Metcalfe on February 18, 2018:
Don't know any of the songs but the some of the lyrics are certainly tragi-comic. Perhaps most of the people in them should consider ditching and starting over? It made me smile.
Richard Green from New Mexico on February 17, 2018:
"When Uncle Bill Quit Dope," by Johnny Cash. Flourish, I loved this article. It cheered my whole day. Thanks
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 14, 2018:
Rasma - I hadn't heard of that one before but love it! I added it to the list. Have a wonderful week.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 14, 2018:
Heidi - Thanks for the add. Hee-Haw goes way back, doesn't it? My parents used to make me watch back in the day when there was one tv set in the house and three channels. Ahh, the memories.
FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 14, 2018:
Dora - Thanks for stopping by and reading. Love your beautiful profile photo.
Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on February 14, 2018:
Okay, I'm laughing just reading the titles! :-D Dang! It's like an episode of Hee-Haw.
I see Toby Keith is well represented in this list. I'd add "As Good As I Once Was."
Thanks for the chuckles!
CaribTales on February 14, 2018:
Some really funny lyrics here. Sees that I'm more familiar with the names of the artists than with their songs. Thanks for increasing my "general knowledge."
Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 14, 2018:
Great assortment of songs. I always really liked He drinks Tequila and she talks dirty in Spanish just not sure if it counts as a country song. Love your list of songs.
Source: https://spinditty.com/playlists/Funny-Country-Songs
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